Why can’t I turn off the radio?
Wait. Did you miss putting in the future? No. We fail to think of the future when the past is in front of eyes and not in the rearview mirror of the car.
In particular, Luca had a difficult time dealing with his current life and situation. He dealt with moments before where he got into a car and just drove off to let go. Freedom is a feeling he has long for since his father passed and mother widowed, and his sister moved away to follow her career.
His mother, Rachel was left there with him to pick apart the pieces he has missed along the way. A comforting feeling was essential for Luca to get out of the rut he was circumstantially in. The bond between his mother and him was real, but delicate to the touch like baby fresh out of the womb.
A drift has transpired in their relationship leaving them contemplating. Should anyone assume relationships are only built on companionship and love is forced transaction in this process? Luca thought deliberately and sounding quite sure of himself and the space he is currently in.
On a bright, breezy, and brisk morning Luka awoke to find the counter empty of bananas. Wait? Weren’t there just two bananas here when I went to sleep last night? He was perplexed by this situation and looked around to find any clues to where they could went off to. It was too early to go in and disturb his mom; this past week was long for the two of them. School just started back on Tuesday and it was the first week back for his junior year (the year of engrossing yourself into the fixings of societal expectation of college).
A loud sigh erupted from the mouth of Luka causing their rather old golden retriever Cici lift her head and stretch. The paws from this dog reached the tops of his bare soles of his feet gripping into the firmness the tile floor. Smiling, leaning down his fingers glance along the top of Cici’s head in response she wags her tail in pure delight.
“Do you know where mom hid the bananas on me Cici girl?” This question was rhetorical and an answer may not be had until his mom decides it’s time to start her day.
A cramping came in on his leg, he needed to move and stretch out. Spending a whole night corpse like in a bed leaves a body tense and frozen. He crowns his head up to the ceiling and forms his arms into a T resembling cactus picturing like he is catching the ray of the sun. This warmth felt as though he back at his grandparent’s shore house.
The air there felt enriched with a smell sea salt aroma from the ocean breeze. An echo of sea birds can be heard for miles as they descend on those looking to send them a treat their way. Summer days are just drifting away in Luka’s mind showing him another experience from his life thus far.
Smiling, he arches his feet up and a crackling sound like popcorn begins to be felt within his lower leg. Twisting his heal back and forth, he finds relief from this constant tension. He leans forward seeing his cell and picks it up to aimlessly scroll to the song of the day.
“Day and Night” by Kid Kudi starts to play on his phone, dipping down to the nearby dining table; leans back gathering space. He looks to the side Cici has joined him on the chair next to him with her chin laying on top of the table with her eyes darting towards him and to the food bowl.
“I see what you want girl.” He looks deeply into her eyes as he inches to get up teasing her and sits back down. Laughing. Cici looks at him again, but this time grunts in his directions with her tail swaying from left and right, he can feel the air against the hairs of his legs.
Standing up, he walks toward the dog food container and leans over to grab it. Turns around to find his mother standing right behind him. Cautiously he jumps back.
“Mom! You could have warned me you were up!” Luca said regaining his composure.
“I am surprised to see you up this early in the morning. Didn’t sleep well?” Mom looks at him curiously.
“I would not say so…” His voice trails off leaving her wanting more from him, but at this time he could not give.
“Okay, what are you up to today?” The mom asked, but he loathed this question since it required a “plan”. Luca is not a planner and will never be one. This is why college just around the corner is a lingering thought in his mind.
“I was thinking of taking a drive, but not sure yet.” His rather quick answer made Mom curious about what is going on with him, but she felt like he needed the space to recharge.
“Well, Scott and I are going to go out soon for brunch if you like to join the two of us?” Mom knew this question was a hit or miss when it came to her son going out with her boyfriend. “The replacement” is how refers to him to any of his friends.
“No, I am good.” Luca’s typical answer whenever he did not want to do something with her. Instead of persisting on with him, she goes about her business cleaning up around the house.
Luca decides to then go outside on the deck facing the bright blue lake and trees surrounding the outskirts to the far end. This spot here was where he can find control over his emotions and feelings. He reminded all of times, his dad took him out here and told him about all the birds he saw. Looking back at those simpler times, Luca would give anything to hear about the Common Linnet or American Robin just one more time.
The strangest thing happened a moment later, a red-tailed hawk, his father’s favorite flown by looking down at him. His heart was warm and comforted after this moment.
“I can get through this.” He said to himself.
